Disorientated
by LackingLucidity
Summary: You're in Tori's living room, and everyone around you is highly intoxicated. You have your vodka to your right, and you're leaning against Tori's red shaped sofa. You don't have to worry about Cat telling everyone your secret. You're drunk, so nothing really matters.


Disorientated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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You don't love Cat, but it's moments like this that you wish you did. You're drunk, and everything around you doesn't seem so bad anymore. You're at peace with the world and you wish you could be like this forever. You don't need to be angry right now because nothing matters enough to take this feeling away. Not even Tori.

You wish that you didn't start this whole thing with Cat sometimes; you wish you could go back to where you were before. But right now, you feel accomplished that you have Cat like you do. She's yours and you know it. The problem is, you're not hers. You don't love her, and it makes this unacceptable. You know that you shouldn't feel like how you do right now; you're Beck's, not Cat's.

Beck's who you're true to though. Cat's just your toy. You can have her wherever and whenever you want, and she never says no. She's submissive, but only to you. You know this because you just so happen to know everything about her. You know she likes to be dominant, but now is the only time she can be.

You're in Tori's living room, and everyone around you is highly intoxicated. You have your vodka to your right, and you're leaning against Tori's red shaped sofa. It's times like these that you don't have to hide from everything. You're drunk, so nothing really matters.

You don't have to worry about Cat telling everyone your secret; because you know she's scared you'll stop if she does. You're not cheating on Beck because you know what you have with Cat doesn't mean anything. 'It's just fucking', and like you've said, Beck is where your true loyalties lie. But somehow, right now the idea of people knowing isn't so scary. You're not sure why, but it's actually quite appealing. You try to push this idea out of your head, but when an equally drunk Cat tumbles over to you with a new bottle of vodka in her grasp, it carves itself deep into your skull.

Your legs are stretched out ahead of you so it's not too much difficulty for her to find her way onto your lap. You look at her with questions running past your eyes, but neither of you say anything. She giggles before raising her bottle of vodka to your mouth, before tilting it slightly, tipping it into your mouth so you can enjoy some too.

Your throat burns but you're not sure if it's from the drink or from Cat's proximity. She smiles her famous smile, and you distract yourself from the brisk butterflies swarming your stomach by looking past Cat to see what everyone else is doing. Beck and Andre are doubled over in laughter, while Tori's trying to pry an upchucking Robbie off of her. But whatever she's doing doesn't seem to be working. You catch yourself smile at the sight but you end up distracted by Cat's eyes burning into you. You meet her gaze reluctantly and you notice something in her eye you've seen so many times before. _Lust._

She reaches for the vodka and raises it to her lips. She drinks from the bottle you're apparently sharing, eyes still pouring into your own. She doesn't tear her eyes away. You're stomach clutches your sides, and just as you were about to capture her lips, Beck slumps down beside you and clumsily kisses your cheek. You can smell the alcohol radiating from his breath and it instantly turns you off. You're disappointed that you're no longer alone with Cat, and soon enough everyone else joins you too. No one questions you as Cat shifts from your lap, separating your legs before sitting in-between them, resting her back against your chest. You instinctively move your arms around her waist, holding her and keeping her close as you slot your fingers through hers. They don't care. They're drunk and this is a usual thing when you've been drinking.

Cat decides it would be fun to play a drinking game, the rules being that a bottle is spun twice, and whomever it lands on must kiss. However, If you refuse, you have take three shots of whatever spirits you're been drinking while spinning on the spot. You're not surprised about her choice, because you of all people know she's not as innocent as she seems. She's devious, and she knows exactly what she's doing.

André's the first to spin, and sure enough it lands on himself and Vega. You try to stay quiet when Cat asks you how long they should kiss for, because although you're drunk, you'd still rather ignore Vega's existence. Robbie's laying on the floor across from you, and seems to be struggling to stay coherent, so it's Beck and Cat that choose. They decide on a sweet, short kiss on the lips, just to start the game off slow. Cat spins the bottle next, and it comes to land on Vega again. She sighs when she catches you glaring at her, pretending to be disappointed when you know she loves the attention. Cat spins the bottle again, twisting herself in your lap as she does so, and it sure enough lands on Beck.

You groan like you know you should, and start to complain to Beck but he just shrugs you off telling you it's just a game. He climbs over to Vega once Cat decides on the length, and starts making out with Vega nonchalantly for around 3 minutes. You know you should care, but when you catch yourself rolling your eyes you realise you don't. It confuses you, but you conclude it's just because you're drunk. You remove one of your hands from Cat, grabbing the bottle beside you and taking another swig. You scrunch your face before giving your head a quick shake, settling the bottle down and reclaiming Cat's hand.

You feel yourself getting bored, but then when the bottle stops and seems to be facing you it starts to get interesting. You realise that the way you and Cat were sitting wasn't well thought through, and now you can't decide whom the bottle landed on. She decides it landed on her, before spinning it again, landing on Beck. She turns to you and whispers something cruel, telling you she'll go easy on you, allowing a smirk to grow. Beck says nothing and you think it's because you know he secretly likes the taste of Cat on his lips. They've kissed a few times before in plays and short films, and you never once got mad. But this time it's different. This time you're jealous.

Beck is just to your right, and Cat has only moved slightly from your lap so her back is to the rest of the group. She grabs the tusk of Beck's neck, pulling him fairly violently onto her lips. Everything's happening so fast, and you start to realise you're getting angry when you can feel the growing pressure in your curled up fists. Just when you thought that having your boyfriend and your fuck buddy get off with each other barely 4 inches from your face couldn't get any worse, she opens one of her eyes, winks at you, before slipping her tongue into Beck's mouth.

Now you're furious. She slides her hands up through his hair, exploring it, while Beck places his hands on her waist pulling her closer. You've been so caught up in what's happening in front of you that you don't realise Robbie and André's wolf whistles from behind them. You turn your attention to them and find Tori looking rather amused by it all, probably because of the look on your face. You try to relax, but when you realise it's not Cat you're jealous of, it all gets a bit too much. You snap, causing Cat to break away from Beck with an evident smirk across her face. It's only then you realise that she's just played you. She knows you're possessive, so she knew just the way to get you to crack.

She was successful in making you squirm, and now's when you wish you never started this whole thing with Cat. If you hadn't, then she wouldn't have this over you. If you hadn't had started it all, you would be jealous of Cat right now, and not Beck.

Cat decides she's bored of the game, and sits back on your lap facing you. You can see people watching you intently, but you try to ignore them. She takes the bottle from your side and easily downs at least a third of the bottle without wincing. She's challenging you, so you take the bottle from her hands and you finish the rest without pausing.

You regret it instantly; because now your chest is on fire and you can feel small beads of sweat build up on your forehead. You're not sure if you can even stand. Cats still on your lap, giving you a sweet smile as you place the empty bottle back on the floor with an indescribable expression. Your throat is in bits, whereas she seems to be unaffected, and happily gets up from your lap to retrieve a fresh new bottle. You notice now everyone has gone back to doing their own thing, abandoning the game directly after Beck and Cat's kiss.

You feel empty and lost while she's gone, and even though you can still see her you miss her. You assume Beck's gone to the bathroom, because now even he isn't by your side. You feel abandoned and it doesn't take long for you to accidentally whine Cat's name out. It does the trick, nevertheless, and she bounces straight back to your side.

She sits beside you relentlessly, and you're disappointed she's not back on your lap. You frown at her quizzically, but she chooses not to acknowledge it. She brings out her phone and fumbles around with it, and it seems like she's giving you the silent treatment. You ask her what's wrong, but when she doesn't answer you, you start to panic. You ask her again, but it translates over as more like a plead. She still doesn't answer you. You shake her arm hoping to get a response, and you ask her to please tell you what's wrong. She smiles before breaking out into a loud giggle. She puts her phone beside her before lifting her head, and straddling your waist.

You're shocked, and all your words die before they reach your throat. That burning sensation is back again. She edges her head closer to yours, and as you close your eyes expecting her to find your lips, she manages to avoid them, leaning closer to your ear. _Tease._ You can feel her hot breath rebounding from your ear, and you clamp your eyes shut, as they weren't working too well anyway. Your other senses come alive, and because of her current position, her neck is close by to your breathing space. You can smell her perfume, and it's intoxicating. It works and riddles it's way through your brain, and you can't remember ever smelling a better smell. You find yourself letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and you inhale her scent once again. _Vanilla._ It's perfect. She whispers into your ear, low and seductive tone, but you can't concentrate on anything now, as you tilt your head allowing her more access as she moves from your ear and starts planting kisses along your neck.

She nips and sucks along your pulse point, and everything around you both becomes irrelevant. You don't have to worry about Beck, because as long as you and Cat are both drunk, you have an excuse. You let a small moan escape your lips as she trails down to your collarbone, tugging gently at your skin. You want nothing more than her lips upon your own, but whenever you try to capture them, she dodges your head, and continues tending to your neck. Your breathing becomes erratic, and you start to breathe manually. You can feel your heart bouncing around in your chest, and you're struggling to keep your breath from shaking. You don't know what she's playing at, but right now with your hormones running high, you don't care either.

A please escapes your throat, and as soon as it escaped she stopped in her tracks. You want to tell her that that's not what you meant, but she giggles again stirring your mind up in even more turmoil. She leans back away from your neck, and waits for your eyes to open and meet hers. Your reactions are delayed, so it takes a while to process everything. She smiles when you finally react appropriately, and you frown slightly dazed. You can see it in her eyes again, and she wants it as much as you do. But there's a difference, this time… _she's in control._

She leans down by your ear once again, and she takes your lobe in between her teeth, playfully nipping at it. She sees what it does to you, and it only encourages her. She releases it and you focus hard trying to make sense of what's happening. She whispers to you; it processes a few long seconds after your ears picked up on it, and you instantly open your eyes to look at her. She's laughing now because she knows she's got you. She's won your own game, and you didn't even know she was playing.

_'You belong to me Jade…you're mine.'_

You replayed it over and over again in your head as you tried to make sense of what just happened. She has this possessive smile on her face and everything slowly starts to make sense. You can see it now, but you pretend like what she just said is the most ridiculous thing she's said in a while. You begin to protest, but she shushes you and presses her finger to your lips. You quickly obey, and that's when you know it's game over. You've lost, and she's won.

You always thought that it was the other way around. You never loved Cat, and if anyone were in love with anyone it would be Cat in love with you. You thought of it like Cat was yours, your possession, but it's only now that the truths dawned on you.

_You love Cat_, _and she doesn't belong to you... You belong to her._

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_A/N: Review and make me happy? :)_

_This was intended to just be a one-shot, but if it gets more attention then i'll consider changing it into a multi-chapter :)_

_Review!_


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